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Hi, I'm Blythe (she/they, genderfluid, pansexual, neurodivergent), I'm 32 and I live in the South West of England. I'm a total chatterbox, love making friends, and have been told I'm very silly because I like to see the good in people. I'm just an optimistic soul, a kid at heart, who believes in the power of positivity and is looking for peace and happiness.
I love to learn and am always curious about the world around me and the people in it - you'll often find me people watching while enjoying a hot drink and some cake at my local coffee shop.
Bright colours, dragons, glitter, hearts, sparkles, stars, and unicorns make me happy, as does creating things: writing, (attempting)calligraphy, baking, cooking, crocheting, embroidering, doodling, journalling. At some point I turned into a grandma when I wasn't looking.
Media I love includes: Alice In Wonderland, Anne Of Green Gables, Beatrix Potter, Chronicles Of Narnia, Country music, Sir David Attenborough, Disney, Doctor Who, Enola Holmes, Father Brown, Great British Bake Off, Great British Sewing Bee, Harry Potter, The Hobbit, Legally Blonde, Little Women, Lord Of the Rings, Matilda, Merlin, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Sherlock... etc
I probably won't blog much about real life because... well that's boring, to be quite honest. I've always wanted to try blogging, I've journalled and scrapbooked for years, I find it a great outlet and for sorting out things in my head that I don't want to trouble other people with - not always depressing things but just thinking about day-to-day challenges and sometimes just to vent.
I am here to share my joy for learning, to talk about how I'm working on bringing inclusivity and diversity into my workplace, to think about compassion and curiosity and wellness and good mental health. There's such a stigma around mental health and this is my little place to help chip away at that, to encourage open and frank discussions.
Although, honestly, I'll probably end up talking about books I've read, tv/movies I've watched, music I've been listening to, amazing stationery finds, sharing fun facts I come across, and things I've crafted.
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snowflake_challenge
Challenge #2
In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
Ooh this is well-timed because I've been thinking about what I want to achieve this year over the last couple of days.
I'm still new to Dreamwidth, learning how everything works and I'm hoping (and looking forward) to finding a space I belong, to finding people who share interests or who express their interests in a similar way, to making friends with people.
I want to try to make some of the recipes I see on Masterchef and/or Great British Bakeoff. So many times, someone makes something that looks and sounds completely marvellous and I always say that I want to try it. I never remember to write it down and so never remember to make it.
I want to start a daily meditation practice, which I blogged about <a href="https://rainbowquills.dreamwidth.org/1953.html><here</a> I want to complete some of the free, online, courses provided by websites like The Open University, Coursera etc. I love learning and should take more advantage of the resources available to me, in order to do this! I'm currently enrolled on a money management course. I want to achieve Bookshelf Zero i.e. read all the books I currently own. This is not something I will achieve this year, I own far too many books - both physical and ebook - for that to happen in one year but it will be an ongoing challenge. And, because I know that's how my brain works, I'm sure when I start reading other people's responses to this prompt, I'll want to try some of their goals out!
Challenge #1
In your own space, update your fandom information! Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
I have written a sticky post that's an introduction/about me and I found it a very interesting process how I decided what I wanted to include and how I presented myself.
Basic information such as my name and age, and vague location seemed important. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone much much younger interacting with me and I don't know if people who are of a completely different age would be interested in me. I don't know I'm explaining that well, I don't post 'adult content' but I still would feel weird if someone under 18 started talking to me - and I'd want to make sure that everyone who interacts with me knows what bracket I fall in.
Gender & sexuality because my gender presentation is fairly obvious in real life, it's not something I have to tell people but along with being pansexual - it is absolutely awful when you start making a friendship or a relationship with someone, they find this out and then just ghost you. I put it out there and it's almost like a protective barrier to block away the people who I don't want in my life.
Neurodivergency because my adhd and autism affect how I interact with and perceive the world so again it feels pretty pertinent information for people to know before they engage with me. I'm not great at social cues and at things that aren't face value.
A little bit of information about my personality and how I see the world because my bubbliness and chatteriness doesn't necessarily come across in the written form except for how long these posts end up being probably does say that about me. I just like people to know who I am and what to expect from interacting with me.
Fandoms etc because giving people an idea of my hobbies and interests will tell all parties involved if we have a common interest to talk about - or if there's something I'm likely to talk about that you don't know but are interested in.
I have now written the words interact and interest that so many times that I'm not even sure they're actual words anymore!
Image credit:
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the_positiveway8I absolutely love this sentiment. I understand the whole 'fake it til you make it' mindset but it doesn't work for me. I hate not being good at things, I am a bit of a perfectionist but I'm working on improving this. I recognise that I'm not perfect and I'm going to make mistakes, and mistakes are part of a learning process and I will learn and improve with each mistake I make.
And, somewhat amusingly, I made so many mistakes writing this post - first getting the image the right size, then linking to the creators instagram. I was getting very frustrated and almost gave up because it just wasn't working. But I perservered, succeeded and am feeling pretty pleased with myself to be quite honest!
Money Money Money
Jan. 7th, 2022 11:23 pmI am terrible with money management and budgeting, I always have been. It's weird because I know the theory behind it but putting it into practice is something I find ridiculously hard. Impulse control, what's that? Buying shiny new things and having them delivered is a dose of happiness and my brain gets the happy chemicals it needs.
I was poking around on the Open University's free courses, looking for something anthropology related but I ended up falling into the money & business category. No, I don't know how that happened either, I'm still very confused about it. But I found and have enrolled on a course called MSE’s Academy of Money and based on the description it looks like it could be really useful
I was poking around on the Open University's free courses, looking for something anthropology related but I ended up falling into the money & business category. No, I don't know how that happened either, I'm still very confused about it. But I found and have enrolled on a course called MSE’s Academy of Money and based on the description it looks like it could be really useful
Packed with videos, audios, quizzes and activities, the course covers all the key aspects of personal finance in six sessions of study that each take around two hours to complete.I figure even if it doesn't end up being terribly useful, I love learning so this will hopefully tick off some dopamine and it didn't even cost me anything!
The course starts by looking at how to be savvy when spending money and at the behavioural and marketing pressures that try to influence what consumers buy.
It then looks at budgeting and the impact of tax on household finances.
Borrowing money is something virtually all households are familiar with but it can cause financial problems. The course explains how to borrow money sensibly if necessary, whether it’s a loan to buy a car or a mortgage to buy your home.
Do you want to save or invest money? The course looks at simple savings accounts but also investments such as shares, commodities or property. It explains what is involved and the risks you expose yourself to as you look for a higher return on your money.
The course finishes by getting to grips with the complexities of pensions. It will help you to think about your options when retiring, such as how much your state pension will amount to, supplementing this with an occupational or personal pension, and what you can do if your pension provision falls short of what you need.
Meditation for me
Jan. 6th, 2022 11:07 pmOne of the things I want to try and do in 2022 is get a regular routine of meditation - but in a way that works for me. It's definitely something that helps contain and calm the maelstrom in my brain, but it's really hard for me to find that peaceful space.
The first thing I find helps is that I have to remind myself that there's no wrong way to do it, that when I do it I find it relaxing and enjoyable. And like any other skill, the more I practice it the better I become at it. Even on the days when I don't feel like I've done it properly, it helps. Trying to rid myself of the 'should' is difficult
Getting comfortable is the most important step - it doesn't have to be sitting in lotus position, but that does work sometimes. And what worked yesterday, isn't necessarily going to work today. It's a case of finding the moment, finding the place, finding the position and getting comfortable. It can be laying on the floor, in bed, sitting in a chair, standing in the garden. There's times when I need to almost remind my body to slow down, I've been known to have a hot bath (and sometimes meditate in there because it's so nice). Just get comfortable. If I get relaxed enough to fall asleep while meditating, it's a bonus - I'm nearly always sleep-deprived so I need the sleep
Then, once I've got comfortable, it's about breathing. Slow, even breaths. Even if I don't start with them, as I relax and work on the breathing, I find them. And the more I breath, the more relaxed I get. It's like a chilling out positive response cycle. Sometimes music helps, the relax playlists on Spotify are great for regulating and soothing, I slow down in time with the music. There's days when that doesn't help and I need to move in order to find the right head space - headphones on, music on, and going for a walk, again it's something repetitive, regular and steady. Like, focusing on my feet hitting the ground and nothing else can start getting me in the right headspace too and my breathing matches my walking.
And, of course, my attention will wander away from just focusing on my breathing. That's inevitable, even for an NT person! It's more about recognising when the attention has wandered, noticing where my thoughts have gone but then bringing my attention back to my breath. Not chastising myself for my attention wandering is what I'm mostly working on now, not judging myself or obsessing over the places my mind goes - just accepting it and being kind to myself.
Once I'm finished meditating, I come back to myself, start noticing my surroundings and taking stock of how my body feels physically, and how my emotions feel.
I want to meditate more regularly because I do like how grounded it makes me feel. Even if it only lasts for a few minutes, I like it. So I want to do it more. I'm aiming for once a day and I'm going to start by figuring out where in my day it's going to fit. First try is going to be after work.
The first thing I find helps is that I have to remind myself that there's no wrong way to do it, that when I do it I find it relaxing and enjoyable. And like any other skill, the more I practice it the better I become at it. Even on the days when I don't feel like I've done it properly, it helps. Trying to rid myself of the 'should' is difficult
Getting comfortable is the most important step - it doesn't have to be sitting in lotus position, but that does work sometimes. And what worked yesterday, isn't necessarily going to work today. It's a case of finding the moment, finding the place, finding the position and getting comfortable. It can be laying on the floor, in bed, sitting in a chair, standing in the garden. There's times when I need to almost remind my body to slow down, I've been known to have a hot bath (and sometimes meditate in there because it's so nice). Just get comfortable. If I get relaxed enough to fall asleep while meditating, it's a bonus - I'm nearly always sleep-deprived so I need the sleep
Then, once I've got comfortable, it's about breathing. Slow, even breaths. Even if I don't start with them, as I relax and work on the breathing, I find them. And the more I breath, the more relaxed I get. It's like a chilling out positive response cycle. Sometimes music helps, the relax playlists on Spotify are great for regulating and soothing, I slow down in time with the music. There's days when that doesn't help and I need to move in order to find the right head space - headphones on, music on, and going for a walk, again it's something repetitive, regular and steady. Like, focusing on my feet hitting the ground and nothing else can start getting me in the right headspace too and my breathing matches my walking.
And, of course, my attention will wander away from just focusing on my breathing. That's inevitable, even for an NT person! It's more about recognising when the attention has wandered, noticing where my thoughts have gone but then bringing my attention back to my breath. Not chastising myself for my attention wandering is what I'm mostly working on now, not judging myself or obsessing over the places my mind goes - just accepting it and being kind to myself.
Once I'm finished meditating, I come back to myself, start noticing my surroundings and taking stock of how my body feels physically, and how my emotions feel.
I want to meditate more regularly because I do like how grounded it makes me feel. Even if it only lasts for a few minutes, I like it. So I want to do it more. I'm aiming for once a day and I'm going to start by figuring out where in my day it's going to fit. First try is going to be after work.
Gratitudes for a Tuesday
Jan. 4th, 2022 01:53 pmI am grateful for a job that lets me work remotely, understanding that pandemic-aside, the large open plan layout of the office is really hard for my neurodivergence. But with technology, I never feel too left out of the happenings of my team and colleagues
I am grateful for a family who are healthy and love me, and I have good relationships with. My mum, my dad, my younger sister Hannah and my younger brother Sparrow
I am grateful that my boyfriend recognises my need for space and time isn't a reflection on him, but on my mental health and we fully enjoy the time together properly connected
I am grateful for my health.
I am grateful to be able to walk on the beach and feel the sand under my feet and the sound of the waves.
I am grateful for being able to pursue my creative hobbies, for the music/books/tv/movies that have kept me going. For Netflix, Spotify, Amazon, streaming media. For my local library.
I am grateful for my home and the cats that share it with me. The bright colours on the wall, my marvellously comfortable sofa.
I am grateful for coffee, for tasty baked goods, for chocolate.
I am grateful to be happy, to have an abundance of good things in my life. And to be alive.
I am grateful for a family who are healthy and love me, and I have good relationships with. My mum, my dad, my younger sister Hannah and my younger brother Sparrow
I am grateful that my boyfriend recognises my need for space and time isn't a reflection on him, but on my mental health and we fully enjoy the time together properly connected
I am grateful for my health.
I am grateful to be able to walk on the beach and feel the sand under my feet and the sound of the waves.
I am grateful for being able to pursue my creative hobbies, for the music/books/tv/movies that have kept me going. For Netflix, Spotify, Amazon, streaming media. For my local library.
I am grateful for my home and the cats that share it with me. The bright colours on the wall, my marvellously comfortable sofa.
I am grateful for coffee, for tasty baked goods, for chocolate.
I am grateful to be happy, to have an abundance of good things in my life. And to be alive.
Laid back seats are made for young love
Jan. 3rd, 2022 09:15 pmMy brain didn't get the memo about having a final lazy day before going back to work tomorrow. It's not necessarily a bad thing just unexpected.
I received new cutlery and crockery sets for Christmas (not that weird, I asked for them) and decided it was time to put them in their new homes. So I took all the old plates, bowls, mugs out of the cupboard and the cutlery out of the drawer and, even though they were clean since they were put away, I gave them a good clean. Then I ended up washing down the shelves in the cupboard and the surfaces of the drawer. And then I washed all the new stuff, dried them and put them all away. I felt productive and happy
I also went round to my parents house to help them set up their Alexa and connect some of their devices and shiny new smart home products to it. They love being able to use it but get confused with how to set it up sometimes which is fair enough. My dad is having great fun turning the lights on and off, and my mum really likes the video doorbell and thermostat controlling.
Kindness to myself and the people I love, spending my energy on the things I care about is definitely a vibe I'm aiming to bring into 2022!
I received new cutlery and crockery sets for Christmas (not that weird, I asked for them) and decided it was time to put them in their new homes. So I took all the old plates, bowls, mugs out of the cupboard and the cutlery out of the drawer and, even though they were clean since they were put away, I gave them a good clean. Then I ended up washing down the shelves in the cupboard and the surfaces of the drawer. And then I washed all the new stuff, dried them and put them all away. I felt productive and happy
I also went round to my parents house to help them set up their Alexa and connect some of their devices and shiny new smart home products to it. They love being able to use it but get confused with how to set it up sometimes which is fair enough. My dad is having great fun turning the lights on and off, and my mum really likes the video doorbell and thermostat controlling.
Kindness to myself and the people I love, spending my energy on the things I care about is definitely a vibe I'm aiming to bring into 2022!
Home spa afternoon
Jan. 2nd, 2022 10:33 pmI had the most marvellous relaxing pamper afternoon today, and isn't that always just a marvellous way to spend a weekend?
I lit some calming scented candles in my bathroom, put some music on, filled the bath with hot water and bubbles and sank down with a good book. After I'd finished soaking, I treated myself to a nice body scrub, a clay face mask, and a mini facial massage then a deep conditioning hair mask. After I got out of the bath, I thoroughly moisturised from head to toe.
I feel so relaxed and chilled out right now and it's definitely been the right start to the year.
Tomorrow is my last day off of the festive break and I'm planning another slow lazy day because I deserve it after the craziness of the last 20 months or so. Sometimes going slow is just what the soul needs. Maybe a netflix and chill day, we'll see :)
I lit some calming scented candles in my bathroom, put some music on, filled the bath with hot water and bubbles and sank down with a good book. After I'd finished soaking, I treated myself to a nice body scrub, a clay face mask, and a mini facial massage then a deep conditioning hair mask. After I got out of the bath, I thoroughly moisturised from head to toe.
I feel so relaxed and chilled out right now and it's definitely been the right start to the year.
Tomorrow is my last day off of the festive break and I'm planning another slow lazy day because I deserve it after the craziness of the last 20 months or so. Sometimes going slow is just what the soul needs. Maybe a netflix and chill day, we'll see :)
Welcome to 2022
Jan. 1st, 2022 10:18 amHappy New Year, Dreamwidth!
What a rollercoaster 2021 (and 2020 to be fair) was. I'm hoping that 2022 is going to be better but honestly I'm not expecting it to be, which is strange as I'm a born optimist. I'd love to believe that we'll eradicate COVID and the energy pricing crisis will be over etc etc but sadly, I don't think either of this is going to be solved at all easily.
But what I can do is focus on the things I can control, the things I can do to make my life better. I am looking forward to getting to spend more time with my friends and family, to lazy days in a blanket nest reading, to improving my health and fitness, to trying more new crafting projects, to finding new hobbies. To keep doing the things I love so that I have happiness surrounding me despite the utter shittiness of the world.
What a rollercoaster 2021 (and 2020 to be fair) was. I'm hoping that 2022 is going to be better but honestly I'm not expecting it to be, which is strange as I'm a born optimist. I'd love to believe that we'll eradicate COVID and the energy pricing crisis will be over etc etc but sadly, I don't think either of this is going to be solved at all easily.
But what I can do is focus on the things I can control, the things I can do to make my life better. I am looking forward to getting to spend more time with my friends and family, to lazy days in a blanket nest reading, to improving my health and fitness, to trying more new crafting projects, to finding new hobbies. To keep doing the things I love so that I have happiness surrounding me despite the utter shittiness of the world.
